By Eddie
    April 30th, 2008 at 6:45 pm

There you are. You are sitting and sifting through the endless search results of some lame internet job search engine. You go fishing for that "Next Step" in your career. While perusing the endless list of "quick money" scam jobs that apparently inundate these search engines, you finally find that one perfect job ad that seems to fit what you are looking. You then proceed to click through another endless maze of web pages requiring you to register yourself on the company's online career database. Lastly, you finally get to click the "Apply Now" button and what do you get? A motherBLEEPING personality survey! After spending 20 freaking minutes on registering alone, now I have to spend another 20 minutes answering questions like "what is your favorite color" and "have you ever lied before." Who the hell is answering that question with a "No, I have never lied before." I lied when I was 10 and blamed the dog for my mom's broken lamp! Now I am going to be judged by that? I mean honestly, is there some correlation of answers to ridiculous questions like these that can make me out to be a serial killer? Really, is there? I mean what happened to just having a simple phone interview to gauge someone. I mean don't people lie on these surveys anyways? Continue reading The Pre-Date Survey…

    By Murph
    March 27th, 2008 at 1:29 am

ok, fellow insomniacs… here during late night at TDL, I, the resident night owl will be bringing you articles on subjects some would dare label as unsavory and not fit for public comsumption. well we all know what i say to the moral police.  i say damn you sir, damn you and all your self-righteous posturing and pontificating. if we here at TDL offend your tender sensibilities, then i simply say this "tough noogies". sometimes dudes encounter things in life that some would describe as "salty" or "vile". these things cannot be swept under the rug. no no, these things will be discussed here, after all, we are a man's blog.

tonights article focues on what must be the skankiest town on earth, that of tampa, florida. if i offend any of the residents of tampa by designating it as such, then so be it. your city is making news for all the wrong reasons. in addition to being muggy as all get out, filled with bugs of incredible size, scene of about a combined week of the worst days of the dude's life, and home to ybor city, apparently tampa is now the official home of sex fiending teachers, as well as having more strip joints per block than any other US city, as well as an IHOP where the owner of the new york yankees would make multimillion dollar decisions over some hotcakes and bacon.
Continue reading The Skankiest Place On Earth…

    By Murph
    March 18th, 2008 at 10:23 pm

Alright dudes, i continue my frenzy of activity here at TDL with an article on something heinous. That which we fear like nothing else. Give us Sasquatch, the Loch Ness Monster, a fire breathing dragon, Jaws, Roger Clemens when hes all roided up…. we'd fight them all rather than face this  beast at some point in our lives. What is this vile creature, what could strike fear into all dudes, yours truly included ?  It is the dastardly entity known as "The Cleanout".

Whats awful about "The Cleanout" is that it strkies antime, anywhere, without warning.  Dudes can't see it coming.  It just happens to them….one day, things are going along swimmingly, then bam ! a stranger knocks at your door, says "you got served"(not the awful movie, though its just as bad), and you can envision half your money and half of your shit going out the door.
Continue reading The Worst…

    By Murph
    August 19th, 2006 at 8:17 pm

ok, people..since the dude is MIA and tacos is probably getting some part himself waxed, it has fallen to me to give the faithful readers at TDL something to stimulate their brain.  Heres something i've been wondering about since the age of 16.  Why do women date assholes?

We've all been there, fellow dudes.  You meet a girl, and she ranges from cute to hot, smart, funny, sweet, doesn't seem to be the naggy type, all that good stuff.  Then, right as you're about to ask her out, because you really like her and you're sure she likes you, she starts dating some other dude. And of course, said other dude turns out to be a total asshole.  He's so not right for her you can't believe she even gives him the time of day, let alone gets naked and freaky with him.  That thought in particular makes you want to barf. Not only is he not right for her, but he probably treats her badly as well.  It sucks, and there aint shit you can do about it because its one of the cardinal rules of the universe.  I dont need a survey, research, nothing.  No empirical eveidence necessary.  I've seen it with my two eyes.  Women date assholes like it's their job. 
Continue reading Why Do Women Date Assholes?…

    By Murph
    August 12th, 2006 at 12:13 am

Alrighty people.  I've noticed that business at the dude's life has slowed down somewhat, due to the fact that "The Dude" now, apparently, has a ladyfriend, a fact which has yet to be corroborated by more than one independent source. Despite this, I have decided to soldier on, to fight the good fight, etc…, in providing insight into the lives of dudes everywhere.  Tonight, I have chosen to write about a creature all dudes encounter at some point (or points) during their time as members of Dude Nation. This creature is known as "The Slump-Buster".

We've all been there, boys. You've gone weeks without getting any action from the ladies. No naked fun, no over the shirt action , not even a slightly suggestive pat on the shoulder. Nothing. You have ceased to exist to the female population. For all intents and purposes, you are penis-less. There is only so much internet porn you can handle. You hear your ex is banging some asshole you know, and was, for the last month of your relationship. You need some lovin. You are in a slump. You're be-slumped and there is no end in sight to your involuntary celibacy.
Continue reading The Slump-Buster…

    By Mike F
    August 1st, 2006 at 2:03 pm

I came up with the following theory this afternoon while driving home from work.  Operating an automobile can get maniacally boring after a while, so your mind tends to wander to help you pass the time you might otherwise waste on paying attention to the road or whatever.

I got to thinking about romantic relationships.
Continue reading On relationships…

    By Murph
    July 19th, 2006 at 8:47 pm

Hey ladies. Ever wonder why guys go to strip clubs even though they've got wives and girlfriends at home?  Well then, your friendly, neighborhood Murph has got the answer.

I'm flippin through the channels last night, dreading the morning, which brought with it a trip to the dentist.  I was staring down the barrel of what i was sure was going to be a definite root canal, so i was none too thrilled. So I pass by the oxygen channel and I see Tyra (all-time Hottie) Banks, hosting her talk show.  Her show last nite was entitled "why men go to strip clubs".  I thought, "She cant be serious.  She knows why men go to strip clubs.  They go to look at naked women.  But, oh no! Tyra was getting all into the psychology of the issue, boring her way into the head of the strip club goer like  a construction worker with a huge drill.  She wasn't talking about the dude who shows up once every blue moon to get wasted and rub his face in some girl's boobies; boobies which, invariably, are either a) fake, or b) putting Candy, Destiny, Heather, Mariah, or Amber through college or "school" (whatever school that may be). 
Continue reading Why Men Go to Strip Clubs…