By Eddie
    July 31st, 2006 at 4:16 pm

(BEGIN SCENARIO) I am hanging out with my stepbrother and his wife at home. We are reminiscing of times gone by. All of us are laughing about that time I said that joke about the horse walking into the bar and how it made my stepdad blow soda out of his nose or that time at Christmas where I spilled wax all over dinner because of my sudden need to show everyone how I can pass my hand over a candle flame without getting burned. (Editor's note: Dude.  You did that?  Seriously? What the hell is wrong with you?  Sorry, back to the article.) Suddenly, all of us find ourselves in that lull in the conversation. Running out of things to talk about, because lets face it, that "horse walks into a bar" story can get old, we begin to rummage through an old box under my stepbrother's bed.
Continue reading When people get bored…stupidy becomes an option….

    By Taco's Enchilada
    July 27th, 2006 at 9:30 am

What other way to make my debut on The Dude's Life than to portray myself as a potential lesbian.  Actually, I'm not.  Hey, every woman has a female in the back of their mind that they either look up to, relate to, or just think they're hot!  Anyways, this woman right here is perfect (to me.)    I wouldn't mind having dinner with her just for one night.  ONE night.

 

 

Not only do I think she's a hot b-tch, but she's smart and gifted and TINY.  She graduated from Harvard in 2003 with a degree in Psychology.  She has a chocolate addiction (haha) and doesn't have any interest in professional sports.  One of her favorite bands is The Beatles and prefers 60's folk rock. Ah, so many things in common. 

 

 

Even by shaving her head in the movie, which I thought she did an amazing performance in, she still looked great.  No Demi Moore.   Ewww.

 

 

    By Murph
    July 25th, 2006 at 12:53 am

Hello friends. After debating the worth of strippers, we need to see a sweet young (legal) thing on The Dude's Life. Here we have Elisha Cuthbert, who has starred on 24 and the feature film, "Girl Next Door". This brings us to the question every dude must face in his life: Would you ever get with a pornstar? Debate amongst yourselves…..

Continue reading Murph's Under the Radar Hottie of the Week…

    By Dan
    July 24th, 2006 at 7:24 pm

Hello! Bienvenue! ¡Hola! What up?

My name is Dan and within the next day or three, I will be actively contributing to The Dude's Life (or, for our Spanish-speaking contingent, El Vida de Dude). First, I wanted to sincerely thank Jason for the opportunity to write for a site which has the same twisted humor and biting commentary that has garnered me a loyal readership of…like…four people on my current blog. Shameless pandering and cheap plugs aside, I highly look forward to writing for dudes and dudettes alike on such pressing issues as:
Continue reading The Dreaded Self-Introduction…

    By Jason
    July 24th, 2006 at 10:19 am

Happy Monday, ya'll. (I'm reaching out to the South.) For your viewing pleasure, I bring to you this "Who's Line Is It Anyway?" sketch featuring the immortal Richard Simmons. It's worth finding a cable/DSL connection. Trust me. Enjoy.

    By Jason
    July 23rd, 2006 at 10:40 pm

I’d like to use this space to formally amend my man-crush list. (For those of you who aren't sure what a man-crush is, the fine folks at UrbanDictionary.com compiled a list of definitions that you might find useful.) I haven’t decided yet whether it’s a good or bad thing to be displaced off the list, but it’s something. Mr. Waterston… We need to talk…

When you go see a magician perform, it’s easy to be impressed. Every card-trick looks amazing, no matter what the difficulty level is. The dude pulls a rabbit out of the hat, and you, as the lay-observer, sit there and “ooh” and “aah”. On the other hand, the trained magician is much more critical. “Oh now, come on. You totally screwed that up!! What? You expect them to believe that?!?! How stupid are these people!?” That’s been my story with Law and Order.
Continue reading Time for some reshuffling……

    By Murph
    July 19th, 2006 at 8:47 pm

Hey ladies. Ever wonder why guys go to strip clubs even though they've got wives and girlfriends at home?  Well then, your friendly, neighborhood Murph has got the answer.

I'm flippin through the channels last night, dreading the morning, which brought with it a trip to the dentist.  I was staring down the barrel of what i was sure was going to be a definite root canal, so i was none too thrilled. So I pass by the oxygen channel and I see Tyra (all-time Hottie) Banks, hosting her talk show.  Her show last nite was entitled "why men go to strip clubs".  I thought, "She cant be serious.  She knows why men go to strip clubs.  They go to look at naked women.  But, oh no! Tyra was getting all into the psychology of the issue, boring her way into the head of the strip club goer like  a construction worker with a huge drill.  She wasn't talking about the dude who shows up once every blue moon to get wasted and rub his face in some girl's boobies; boobies which, invariably, are either a) fake, or b) putting Candy, Destiny, Heather, Mariah, or Amber through college or "school" (whatever school that may be). 
Continue reading Why Men Go to Strip Clubs…

    By Jason
    July 17th, 2006 at 1:45 pm

This week's edition brings you something that isn't funny nor ridiculous. It's just something that you sit back and think, "Holy crap! I haven't thought about that in years!" Anyway, he needs no introduction, but just in case you can't think of his name, here's Max Headroom.

    By Jason
    July 17th, 2006 at 1:00 am

Hidden deep within the crevaces of our archives are a number of articles that I wrote on my original site. While most of them have slipped off to the place where crappy writing goes never to be seen again, every once in a while something will make one of them relevant again. If you haven't read Dude! Where's My Catheter?!, this would probably be a decent time to do so. Of course, you could also just read this one and have no freakin clue what I'm talking about, which is fine too. After all, why should I be the only lost one at the end of an article? Anyway, just a suggestion…

He's defied death for what has to have been years now. (How many freakin times has this dude died? Seriously! I could swear he's died at least two times already. Maybe it's all my imagination.) His liver should be placed in a museum, or cloned, or even framed. His one leg has to have been suffering from depression, so it's a good thing that it's not needed anymore. (Not because it missed the other leg or anything. In fact, it's just the opposite. When they cut off the left one (or was it the right one? Who the hell cares, really?) it had to have been sitting there (or laying there..whatever legs do when you're not using them) thinking, "DAMNIT!! How come he gets to be free of this…this thing!? I'm getting stuck with this creep and he gets to get off because of a little diabetes? Come on now!!") Anyway, the point being, my ex-uncle is dead. (Again…Or for the first time…Or something.)
Continue reading Forget it… He's dead. (Part 3 in a series… Actually, it's really just an update on part 2… It's more of a continuation, though, so does that make it Part 2A?)…

    By Jason
    July 13th, 2006 at 5:25 pm

Today's quickie is indirectly (meaning, he has no freakin' clue) brought to you by Ethan Skolnik of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, who first linked to this on his blog. After all this speculation about what truly caused Fidel to fall, it's nice to finally have solved that mystery. Zi-Zou has been all over the place, lately. Enjoy.

Continue reading Thursday Afternoon Quicky: A Mystery Solved…